Well…… here we go.
I’ve been retired for three months now and its time to take up this new possibility.
Time, what does that mean? We talk as if time is something we carry around with us like change in our pockets. As if when some new opportunity arises we can pull out a handful of time and spend it to purchase the various skills and outcomes associated with the investment of ourselves in that opportunity. When, in reality, it almost feels as if time is spending us. Or maybe not time. Perhaps this living of life, the thrusting out of what we might call ME, the personal I AM into this space only feels like time is passing. Maybe nothing is changing. Maybe there is no yesterday, today, or tomorrow. Maybe there just IS. And, maybe what IS includes all that can be, past, present, and future, all at once. Could it be that who I have been, who I am now, and who I will be is like a hollowed out mold into which the plaster of my soul is poured and as that plaster fills in the mold, the continuously changing level of the plaster is perceived by me as the passing of time? All I know is this thing I think of as time seems to be moving through me at an astounding pace! I revel in the heady experience of now! But, before I can capture the fullness of what now has to offer, I’m into a different now. I’m sitting here placing my thoughts on this page while my wife (the love of my life!) and the little one, the one we just call “Kitty” or “Kits” are snoozing on the couch and the big one called “Jack” is in the chair next to mine grooming his fur, and I can think of nothing better than holding onto this now. Because, if it slips away it might fade into all of those inconsequential similar experiences that were so wonderful when they happened but weren’t weighty enough to stand out from a lifetime of other nows. I am truly Blessed!
I can’t wait for the rest of today to pass and for all that happens during that passing to occur. I feel like a man who hasn’t eaten for a week and now has a wonderful table spread before him. And yet, I don’t want it to pass because I want to hold onto all that happens and keep it locked in my experiencing of it. I hope that all of our memories are recorded somewhere in this universe to keep them preserved forever. And, if they are, I want to discover how to access them when I have the time!